MetaPhysique Weekly #009 "You've Changed"

"You’ve Changed."

It’s just two words.

But when someone says it — especially someone close — it can feel like a gut punch.

What they really mean is:

"You're not who you used to be, and I liked that version better."

It’s rarely a compliment.

It’s a subtle protest.

And for a lot of us, it’s one of the reasons we hesitate to change at all.

The Fear Behind Growth

One of the biggest invisible forces that holds us back from growing is the fear of becoming someone new in front of people who knew the old us.

• Maybe you're starting a health journey.

• Maybe you're building discipline.

• Maybe you're just reclaiming a part of yourself you’ve lost.

And suddenly… the people around you feel uncomfortable.

Because when you grow, it challenges them:

1. It shines a light on where they’re not growing.

2. It disrupts the balance of the relationship.

Even though it’s rarely conscious, the result is very real friction.

Where It Hits the Hardest: Your Marriage

Growth friction shows up in all kinds of relationships — friends, coworkers, family — but it’s the most intense in your marriage.

And it goes both ways:

• When a wife starts improving herself — eating better, getting in shape, building confidence — the husband might quietly panic:

• When a husband starts reclaiming his energy, time, or health — maybe through fitness or hobbies — the wife might feel irritated or left behind.
  There is often resentment, even if she doesn’t fully understand why.

This isn’t about one partner being “bad.”

It’s about how change in you alters the ecosystem of your relationship.

And I’ve lived this.

When I started training jiu jitsu, I felt ALIVE.

It wasn’t just about getting in shape- I was already fit.

It wasn’t even about being a tough guy- I was getting my ass kicked on the regular at that point.

It was about reclaiming something I didn’t know I was missing.

But I could tell something shifted with Angie.

She wasn’t mad.

She didn’t criticize.

But there was a tension I couldn’t ignore.

Eventually, she told me what was really going on:

That wasn’t what I wanted at all.

I just wanted her to be happy for me — because for the first time in a long time, I had something that felt meaningful.

But I had never explained why it mattered.

And that led to a deeper conversation — one that cracked me open.

I told her the truth:

That conversation changed everything.

Once she understood the why, the energy between us shifted.

She saw this wasn’t a selfish phase — it was a mission to become someone I could respect.

Someone we could both be proud of.

How To Grow Without Blowing Up Your Relationship

Here’s how to grow into your next level without losing connection with the people you love:

1. Sell Yourself First

Before you explain your goals to anyone else — make sure you’re clear.

• Why does this matter to you?

• Why now?

• What’s at stake if you don’t change?

And if you can’t communicate it clearly, your loved ones will assume this is just another phase — and treat it like one.

2. Share Your Vision

Once you're grounded in your why, communicate it.

• What are you doing?

• Why is it important?

• How will it make you a better partner, parent, or human?

You’re not asking for permission. 

You’re inviting them to understand.

The clearer your vision, the less threatened they’ll feel.

3. Set Expectations (Not Demands)

Let them know what will change — and what won’t.

• How will your schedule shift?

• What kind of support will you need from them?

• How will you continue showing up for the relationship?

This reduces surprise — and surprise is what makes change feel threatening.

4. Ask How You Can Support Them

This creates emotional safety.

Let them know:

5. STFU and Lead by Example

Don’t preach.

Don’t sell your new lifestyle.

Don’t become a walking TED Talk before you’ve lived the journey or achieved any meaningful results.

Just show up consistently. Let the results speak for themselves.

Have You Felt This Tension?

Maybe you’ve never said it out loud.

Maybe you didn’t even realize it until just now…

But some part of you has hesitated to go all in —

Not because you don’t want it…

but because deep down, you’ve wondered what it might do to your relationship.

That quiet fear — the one that says

“What if this makes things harder at home?” —

It’s more common than you think.

And if that’s what’s been holding you back… you’re not alone.

With MetaPhysique Coaching, this kind of emotionally intelligent guidance is part of the process.

Yes, we’ll dial in your training and nutrition.

But we’ll also help you integrate it into the life you’re actually living —

which includes navigating the relationships that matter most.

If you’re ready to grow in a way that aligns with your life —

not at the expense of it —

👉 [Fill out this short form], and I’ll personally reach out to see if it’s a good fit.

To Your Growth,