MetaPhysique Weekly Edition #003

In the fall of 2018, my wife and I found out we were expecting twins.

We’d been trying for years at this point, and now… the dream of fatherhood was finally becoming real.

I was pumped.

In my head, I wanted to be a real-life superhero for these kids.

I not only wanted to LOOK the part…I wanted to “perform” like a super hero too.  

I did NOT want to be “all show and no go.”

I used this as my fuel.  I was going to be jacked AND strong.

Training Like a Superhero

Throughout Angie’s pregnancy, I focused heavily on the “look the part” side of the equation.

I got lean—below 10% bodyfat.

Then, a month before the kids were born, I switched gears and started a powerlifting cycle.

The goal was simple…to get strong as hell.

The narrative in my head was clear:

And then the twins arrived.

Premature.

Four pounds each.

Feedings every two hours…around the clock.

It was an all hands on deck situation…both Angie and I were required for all feedings.

One night around 2 a.m., I picked up one of the boys to feed him. I sat on the floor, leaned against the crib…and as I stood up—

My back gave out.

Hard.

I got the baby down safely, then collapsed forward in pain.

I couldn’t stand up straight for almost a week. 

I was unable to help with the kids. Unable to train.

In the few hours we had between feedings to sleep- I couldn’t, because the pain was unbearable.

That moment wrecked the identity I’d spent years building.

I trained to be strong—but the moment my strength was needed most, I was sidelined.

So I had to take a hard look in the mirror.

What was the point of all that training?

What actually mattered—and why?

What follows is the reflection that changed the way I train, the way I coach, and the way I define performance.

What Does Performance Really Mean?

Most people think performance training is just for athletes or first responders.

But most of my clients are not pro athletes or tactical professionals.

They’re dads, husbands, business owners, leaders. Guys who care deeply about being great at the roles that matter.

And in that context?

Performance isn’t about your mile time or your bench press.

Performance is about being capable—for the people who count on you.

Train for the Life You Actually Live

Take a second to think about the different roles you play in your life.

Now ask:

Is your training making you better at those roles—or pulling you away from them?

That’s the real measure of personal performance.

Not for the Intellectually Lazy

This kind of reflection isn’t easy. It forces you to define what success in each role looks like—for you.

And those definitions will vary from person to person.

Maybe hitting a 500lb deadlift makes you feel proud and confident—and that spills over into how you show up as a husband, father, and leader.

Or maybe chasing that number means you're sore all the time, always at the gym, and starting to resent how much it pulls you away from your family.

The soreness isn’t the problem.

The gym time isn’t the problem.

The problem is when the pursuit starts to feel out of alignment with what matters most to you.

Same goal. Two very different outcomes.

It’s not the goal that matters.

It’s the context around it.

“Just Because” Goals Still Have a Place

Now let me be clear—sometimes, you chase a goal not because it’s practical…

But because something deep inside you wants to know.

You want to deadlift 500.

Run a marathon.

Get down to 8% body fat.

Test your limits—just to see what you’re made of.

And that’s great.

I’m equal parts:

“Do the sensible thing”

and

“F*ck it, let’s see what happens.”

We need both.

On one hand, I want my training to make me better at life—more capable in the roles that matter most. At the very least, I don’t want it to take away from my ability to be a present father, husband, or business owner.

But I also believe there’s a voice inside every man that wants to conquer something.

To test himself.

To feel powerful and alive.

That voice doesn’t care about ROI.

It’s not for logical reasons.

It’s for the soul.

Socrates said,

I agree.

You don’t always need a reason—sometimes the pursuit is reason enough.

That said, when you’re chasing a goal just because it fires you up, it still pays to gut-check:

• Will this take time or energy from other key roles?

• Is there risk that could set me back?

• Am I genuinely excited about the process, not just the outcome?

If those answers feel aligned—then hell yeah, lean into it.
Because sometimes, that’s where the magic happens.

The Real Lesson

There’s no one-size-fits-all version of “performance.”

You’ve got to define:

• The roles that matter most to you

• What success in those roles looks like

• Whether your training is helping—or hurting—your ability to show up for them

When it is helping?

That’s when fitness becomes more than just reps and routines.

It becomes a tool for living life on your terms.

Because here’s the truth most guys overlook:

Performance walks a fine line between practicality and passion.

It should serve your real life—and also light something up inside you.

Finding that balance comes down to one thing:

Clarity on your values.

And that clarity?

It protects you from falling into the trap of performative fitness
—the kind driven by comparison, pressure, and what’s trending on Instagram.

I’m diving deeper into that here:
👉 Boring Training = Sexy Results – Why No One Wants To Watch My Workouts On Instagram

And if you’re working on defining your values so you can build a training plan that actually fits your life?
👉 Asking The Wrong Questions – How to Create a Training Program For Your Goals and Your Life

If you’re struggling trying to get clear on your training goals- hit reply and fill me in, I’m happy to help you gain some clarity.

Much Love,

P.S.- If this resonated, pass it on to someone who’s in the thick of it right now.

When you’re carrying a lot, this kind of clarity can make all the difference.