MetaPhysique Weekly Edition #005

You ever get that nagging feeling like you should be doing more?

More training.

More at work.

More time with your kids.

More discipline with your food, your sleep, your habits.

You scroll through Instagram or hear what other guys are doing, and it hits you:

“Am I falling behind?...Am I doing ENOUGH?”

That voice—the one that questions if you’re doing enough—is a double-edged sword.

Sometimes it serves us. It gives us the kick in the ass we need…It keeps us honest.

But most of the time, it becomes a mental prison.

It’s a loop you can’t close—an itch you can’t scratch. A question you’ll never answer.

We stay stuck there until we do one thing:

Get aligned.

And alignment requires Clarity.

Let’s talk today about how to break out of that loop.

Here’s the truth:

You can’t do everything.

I am a firm believer that you can do anything—but not everything.

At some point, you’re going to have to make tradeoffs.

Some people have a negative connotation of the word tradeoff—That to make a tradeoff is to give something up.

But I see it as liberating.

It’s how you learn to play your own game.
It’s how you define success on your terms.

And until you choose your tradeoffs, you’ll stay trapped in a cycle of comparison, guilt, and indecision.

You’ll stay haunted by who you think you should be—and miss the power you already have to become who you want to be.

Confidence = Freedom

To me, confidence, peace, and freedom are all branches of the same tree.

There’s a huge misconception about what confidence really is.

Most guys think it’s the reward for reaching a finish line:

• 6-pack Abs

• 500lb deadlift

• Millions in the bank

• 8% body fat

The misconception is that WHEN I have (whatever external thing I’m chasing)…THEN I’ll be confident.

In other words, once I “win”- I’ll have earned the right to be confident.

But confidence doesn’t come from “winning,” or any other single event.

It comes from knowing you’ll be okay even if you lose.

In other words- confidence is knowing that your ego won’t be shattered every time you see someone doing “more” than you.

Confidence is freedom from the fear of falling behind—
Because you know what you're aiming for, and you've chosen the tradeoffs that come with it.

That’s alignment.

When you're aligned with your goals, your effort feels purposeful.

Your discipline feels liberating.

Your tradeoffs feel worth it.

But most importantly:

You’re aiming all your effort in a direction that you consciously chose.

You stop second-guessing.

You stop feeling like you’re falling behind—because the only race you’re running is your own.

Shifting Targets

When I first started lifting, it was to gain confidence by getting bigger.

I clearly remember thinking:

“If I just weighed 200 lbs, I’d be a beast.”
(I weighed maybe 175–180 at the time.)

And here’s the thing—my confidence did go up.

I had alignment. I had a target. And more importantly, I was doing something about it.

But when I hit that completely arbitrary 200lb mark…
My confidence started going backwards.

The goalpost had moved.

Even though I had gotten bigger and more muscular…

There was always someone bigger.

Always someone stronger.

So I shifted gears.

Now I wanted the strength to go with my new size.

Stronger, But Now What?

When I focused on strength, something shifted.

The goals were clearer.
The milestones were concrete.
I felt powerful—and my confidence grew.

Ironically, that wasn’t my leanest or most “aesthetic” phase.

But I found confidence in what my body was capable of.

As my deadlift, bench, and pull-up numbers climbed, so did my confidence… for a while.

But I wasn’t fully at peace.

There was still a part of me that felt insecure about how I looked.

So I shifted back to aesthetics—
But this time, I did it differently.

I kept the strength and conditioning pieces I enjoyed.

I didn’t chase unsustainable levels of muscularity or leanness.

And that’s when it clicked:

When I judged my physique—it was against magazines and Instagram.

When I judged my strength or running—it was against people who were all-in on those pursuits.

And I realized—I didn’t want to be elite in any of those things…and I didn’t want the tradeoffs that came with being elite in those things.

I would never step on a bodybuilding stage, never win a power lifting meet, sure as hell not about to break any 5K records…

But also…

I didn’t care.

I wasn’t doing this for any reason other than it was what I wanted to do. 

It was about achieving MY best, not being THE best.

I wasn’t chasing someone else’s ideal anymore.
I was choosing mine.
That’s alignment.

Clarity Evolves

The real lesson here is that the work to gain Clarity and Confidence is ongoing.

Confidence isn’t a one-time achievement.

It’s the result of getting clear on what’s meaningful to you—
And letting go of the need to measure up to some external standard.

And even then?

Confidence still waxes and wanes.

A dip in confidence doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

It’s a signal.

It means it’s time to redefine success for the current season of your life.

Because you will evolve.

Your priorities will shift.

And because of that-

the work of getting in alignment with what’s most important to you is work that needs to be revisited frequently.

Tradeoffs Set You Free

When you stop trying to do everything—and start doing what matters for you, in this season—something changes:

You feel peace.

You stop comparing.

You stop resenting the tradeoffs—because now they’re part of the plan, not the price you’re forced to pay.

They’re strategies.

The moment you choose your tradeoffs on purpose is the moment they stop feeling like sacrifices—and start feeling like freedom.

Confidence is what happens when your actions match your values— And you let go of everything else.

I’ll Leave You With This:

If you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, or unsure—
It’s probably not because you’re doing something wrong.

It’s probably because your goals and your effort just aren’t aligned anymore.

Take five minutes this week and ask:

• What do I want right now?

• What tradeoffs am I willing to make?

• Where am I lying to myself about what tradeoffs I’m willing to make?

Then choose.

Sink your teeth into going after what you want.

Let go of the need to “sacrifice” areas where you’re not actually willing to.

And to remove the weight of making a decision, remember:

This isn’t forever. Just for this season.

You have permission to change your mind later.

That’s how clarity is built.
That’s how confidence is earned.
That’s how freedom is found.

I’d love to hear from you

👉  Just hit reply and let me know:

What season are you in—and what tradeoff are you finally ready to own? Are there any tradeoffs that you’re not willing to make?

I read everything that comes through. Let’s get you unstuck.

Much love,