When Fitness Becomes A Burden

Somewhere along the way, we were convinced that fitness is a competition.

That if we’re not going all-in, we’re falling behind.

That if we’re not shredded, grinding, tracking every macro, and training like a Navy SEAL, we’re failing.

That if we’re not elite, we’re not enough.

And man… that’s exhausting.

Because for most of us—especially those of us with families, businesses, and actual responsibilities—fitness ends up feeling like another thing on our plate.

Another thing to measure up in.
Another thing to feel behind in.
Another place to be told we’re not doing it right.

All it takes is one post from a shirtless guy saying, “We all have the same 24 hours…” and your brain spirals:

“Why can’t I figure this out?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Am I just not disciplined enough?”

But here’s the truth:

You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’ve just been handed the wrong frame.

Fitness media has sold the lie that it’s all-or-nothing—that you either crush it or you’re wasting your time.

That’s the same garbage that gave us lines like, “How you do one thing is how you do everything.”

Sounds cool. Makes you look super smart and together on social media.

But it’s total BS.

Because in real life, you don’t approach everything with the same intensity.

I hope to God that your fantasy football team doesn’t get the same effort you give your marriage.

You don’t put the same planning into weekend chores that you put into your business strategy.

That’s not weakness. That’s called being a grown-up with priorities.

So here’s the reframe:

There are three ways fitness can show up in your life:

• As a burden — when it’s driven by shame, guilt, or fear of falling behind

• As a badge — when it’s about ego, identity, or external validation

• As a tool — when it supports your energy, confidence, and ability to show up for what matters

Only one of those actually makes your life better.
Only one is sustainable.
Only one puts you in control.

That’s it.

You don’t need to live like a monk or be the top 1% in the gym.

There are plenty of incredible men out there—

providing for their families, raising strong kids, making an impact—

who don’t do Hyrox, run club or look like a fitness model.

And you know what?

There are also plenty of dudes with six-packs and nothing else going for them.

So the question becomes:

How do YOU want to use fitness?

That’s not a rhetorical question.

You get to decide what’s worth your time, your energy, and your attention.

For me?

I lift, I run, I do jiu-jitsu. I track my food sometimes.

That’s a decent amount of time and effort to invest. But honestly, it doesn’t feel that way to me.

Because I like it.

Because I’m curious. Because I teach this for a living and want learn as much as I can.

Because it’s fun for me.

It’s not a grind. It’s not a punishment. It’s aligned.

And I fully recognize that not everyone wants to spend the time on fitness that I do.

That doesn’t make them lesser. It just means they’re choosing to pursue their potential in other ways.

I say this all the time:

I’m not here to be your guru.

I’m here to be your guide.

A guide doesn’t have all the answers.

A guide knows how to ask the right questions—so you can get clear on what matters to you.

My job is to help you cut through the noise, define your version of success, and build a path that aligns with your life, your values, and your season.

Because fitness isn’t something you win at.

It’s something you use.

So use it to build the life you actually want.

That’s the whole game.

Here’s something to think about:

However you choose to use fitness, just make sure it supports the life you actually want—not the one someone else thinks you should chase.

You’re allowed to do it differently.

Much love,

PS- If this kind of guidance resonates with you, I wrote a full breakdown of what it’s like to work with me 1-on-1.

You’ll get the details, the philosophy, and whether it’s a good fit for your goals.

👉 Click here to read what it’s like to work together.